I am have so much anger locked up inside me. I have shoved the anger down so many times, but it keeps coming back up to the surface but I don't know how to deal with it. Most of the anger is directed towards people in my life who I feel have let me down in the last 10 months. Most of these people live far away from me so I don't have to worry about running into them at the grocery store, but it makes even harder to figure out how to deal with all this anger. You can't call people up and start yelling at them (because really I want to yell and scream) bcause they can just hang up on you, but I need to start dealing with these feelings before they consume me. I've tried to just let things go and basically just write these people off as not worth my time but that's not working.
I've decided that I need to do something about the "friend" who named her son Reed in November first. (All the details are here in case you haven't memorized all my posts.) Okay, that sounds like I'm going to hire a hit man. I'm angry but not quite that angry. My plan is write a short but not sweet letter saying that I'd appreciate if she took me off her Christmas card list (yes we got a Christmas card including a family picture and a baby announcement) because I'd rather not add to the stress/sadness of Christmas by reading about how her Reed is growing up, (cause he's alive) and doing all the things that my Reid will never do (cause he's dead). There may also be something about how insensitive it is to send said baby announcement to the parents of a dead baby with nearly the same name but I have yet to figure wording that conveys how I really feel.
Getting this off my chest is healthy, right? I just can't imagine that just writing the letter and not sending it is going to be enough to help me feel better. And I just can't imagine that my feelings about getting annual updates about her Reed (and her other 3 boys, yes she managed to have 4 kids in just over 6 years so she's also ridiculously fertile on top of everything else) will change so I can't see regretting sending this letter. I guess I just have to decide whether I send the pictures from the Christmas card back to her or toss them in the trash here. What would you do?