Now I will go back to putting off dealing with the anger, at least for a couple more days. I think I have a valid reason. Tomorrow is my birthday which I have been dreading for the last month because I don't want to have to listen to people saying "Happy Birthday" when I am so far from happy and since I have far too much politeness bread into me I can't yell at people about how I really feel when they they say it. Tomorrow also happens to be 6 weeks until the 1 year anniversary of Reid's death so I will have enough things to be upset about without trying to deal with the anger.
D thinks it wonderful that it's mommy's birthday so I will have to suck things up for her sake to a certain extent. I think she mostly just realizes that a birthday in the house means cake/cupcakes for her and I can get behind the dessert part of my birthday even if I want to pretend that it's just a regular day. D.G. is taking me out of supper so I have to find a way to make myself "nice restaurant" presentable. At least restaurant tables can be counted on to hide the c-section belly that I will never get rid of unless someone starts handing out free tummy tucks to DBM's. (I have to hope the lighting is ridiculously dim so that no one will see the gray hairs that I have not had cut or coloured in the last 11 months. )