I was miserable today. It was the first time since Reid died that I wasn't strong enough to keep up with D and ended up letting her watch way too much TV. I knew it was going to be a bad day when the desire to be a couch zombie outweighed the bad parent guilt. Thank goodness for E, another IRL friend who is actually a DBM x 3. Her phone call wasn't enough to get my out of my pj's and out of the house but it did cheer me up enough to stop me from hiding in my room and sobbing while D was watching Sesame Street. (and it was the episode with Feist singing "1,2,3,4" which gave me a couple minutes of pleasant distraction)
While I was in SK, one of my oldest friends called and left a message. DH told me about it but I wasn't up for calling her back while on my trip. She has since sent me an email that I haven't been able to reply to. She lives about 3 hours away and is pregnant (of course) with a boy (just like everyone else I know) and due at the end of July. She is done work in a week and wants to know if she can come visit me. I just don't know what to tell her. She was supportive right after Reid died but I hadn't heard anything from her since the end of April so I was feeling pretty hurt. I do want to see her, but I don't know if I can stand to see her hugely pregnant and happy (her blog is full of "when the baby comes" and all the other things that we DBM's know aren't guaranteed just because you get to be 34 weeks pregnant). I can't decide which will be harder for me, seeing her pregnant or waiting to see her once she has the baby. I have yet to go see anyone who has had a baby since Reid died and I have really avoided baby boys of any age. Any advice for me from those who may have already dealt with friends who are "still" pregnant?