Friday, May 14, 2010
No "good" nights
I thought that Thursday was a "good" day. (At least as good a day as you can have when you have a pelvic exam and the last 6 weeks of time weren't erased/rewound.) So then why the f@#k am I awake at 3:42 am and have been awake for the last 2 hours? I hated it when I couldn't sleep in the middle of the night while I was pregnant. I would lay there with my mind wandering all over the place. Thinking about all the things I wanted to do before the baby came, what to name the baby, how was D going to adjust to the baby, how would I function with a almost 3 year old and a baby. I had no idea that it could get so much worse. Now I lay there trying not to break out into huge loud sobs because I should be able to function just fine because there is no baby keeping me up at night. How was I supposed to know that I would end up in a place where I was desperately wishing that I had a screaming baby in my house at 3:55 in the morning? Why didn't somebody warn me that my life was about to be completely FUBAR'd?