Sunday, May 9, 2010
I Am The ... Wallower
I spent my 1st Mother's Day as a DBM alone in my bedroom. D was in and out of course but I was by myself for most of the day. I couldn't make myself call my mom and no one called me. Not sure if that's what I wanted to happen or not but it's too late to change things now. After 2 weeks of "being strong" I just needed a day to wallow in my grief and let everything out. I fantasize about letting myself be a basket case for a week straight, but really the only thing that would do is make me feeling guilty for neglecting D. I know I should feel happy that I have a living child and that I am a mother, but the hurt and grief over Reid's death is still too fresh.