Wednesday, May 5, 2010

After this evening's first big cry I realized something. All us DBM's would give pretty much anything short of our spouses and living children for the chance to have our babies alive and with us. We all have dreams of what we would be doing with our babies and how much we would love and appreciate every second of being their moms. All DBM's can't stand to hear the "lucky ones" complain about the lack of sleep or breastfeeding problems or not having time to shower. But if I had what we all want so badly, for my baby to be here and healthy, to never have been a DBM, I would be just like the "lucky ones" complaining about life with a new baby. I HATE that I would be one of those people and I HATE that I know what it's like to not be one of them and I HATE that I only truly appreciate what a gift my son was because he is dead.


Lareina said...

Yup, yup and yup. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you said here... Whenever I see someone not appreciating their children, I want to explain to them IN DETAIL how much worse it could be... Hugz.

Glo said...

When ever I hear people first gut reaction is well at least your baby is still alive.

Not very charitable I know...but your right. I would give anything to be struggling with breastfeeding or a fussy baby Gavin right now.

B said...

yes. it's just one of those things that isn't fair. the awareness that without this pain and misery and overwhelming grief, we could have been part of the problem for someone else.

just something else that sucks.

i'm so sorry that Reid isn't there with you.

my husband doesn't even notice the months ticking by, or at least he only notices in a general way. for whatever reason, he doesn't need to. to him, what difference does it make? but every month, i will remember.

thinking of you and your family. x