Monday, May 3, 2010

1 Month

Reid would have been 1 month old today. I am miserable and alone. (well alone for now cause it's nap time) I told myself that it would be good to spend my first day without DH or my mom alone with D, but that's not true. I don't want to have to remind anyone what today is, I want them to be already thinking about it.

Thanks to my IRL friend and fellow DBM (dead baby mama), L for remembering Reid's "1 month anniversary". I thought that some other people might remember too, but so far there's been nothing and that really hurts. DH had to spend the whole day at a conference today so I can forgive him not thinking of it this morning, but I will lose it if he doesn't acknowledge the day when he gets home tonight. I know men in general aren't big on anniversary's and dates, but DH knows that I like to mark milestones even if they are crappy ones.

I spent most of the weekend reading every blog listed under Stillbirth here. I was desperately looking for someone whose babyloss story was like ours. After reading the history of every blog on there, I found just one that came close. I have spent every free minute since reading her entire blog history. She has turned her tragedy into something positive by co-founding Grieve Out Loud. I am going to "celebrate" Reid's 1 month birthday by writing our story and sending an email to her to thank her for her blog and for letting me know that I was not the only one. Maybe someday my story will help someone else.


lis said...

im so sorry for what happened to your Reid. i wanted to pass along this link, as im not sure if you have found it yet. if you scroll down under pregnancy loss are the stillbirth, neonatal and infant loss blogs. i hope you find something worth reading.

i know some, but not all of your pain, as i lost my twin girls at 5 months of pregnancy. this is all so unfair and im so sorry you are in the thick of it right now. i will be thinking of you and following along.

lis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lis said...

stirrup queens blogroll-loss room

oops! here's the code