Reid would have been 1 month old today. I am miserable and alone. (well alone for now cause it's nap time) I told myself that it would be good to spend my first day without DH or my mom alone with D, but that's not true. I don't want to have to remind anyone what today is, I want them to be already thinking about it.
Thanks to my IRL friend and fellow DBM (dead baby mama), L for remembering Reid's "1 month anniversary". I thought that some other people might remember too, but so far there's been nothing and that really hurts. DH had to spend the whole day at a conference today so I can forgive him not thinking of it this morning, but I will lose it if he doesn't acknowledge the day when he gets home tonight. I know men in general aren't big on anniversary's and dates, but DH knows that I like to mark milestones even if they are crappy ones.
I spent most of the weekend reading every blog listed under Stillbirth here. I was desperately looking for someone whose babyloss story was like ours. After reading the history of every blog on there, I found just one that came close. I have spent every free minute since reading her entire blog history. She has turned her tragedy into something positive by co-founding Grieve Out Loud. I am going to "celebrate" Reid's 1 month birthday by writing our story and sending an email to her to thank her for her blog and for letting me know that I was not the only one. Maybe someday my story will help someone else.