Sunday, May 2, 2010


Last night, well it felt more like this morning, I dreamed about Reid for the first time. It was a weird dream, as all my dreams are, but Reid was alive and with me. Of course D woke about before 6 am and that was the end of my dreams. She had to crawl in bed with us but refused to be quiet and let me just lay there and try to remember my baby. I was so mad at her and then then the guilt for being mad at her set in. It's not her fault that her internal alarm clock is set way too early and it's not her fault that her baby brother is dead, but then it's not anybody's fault is it?


Glo said...

No it's not anyone's fault.

I also have a toddler. While it has been almost "life saving" to have him sometimes he bears the brunt of my grief and frustration.

It's ok though...toddlers are forgiving.

Lareina said...

Like Gloria said, toddler's are forgiving... it's hard not to be sad and mad when a beautiful dream like that is ripped from you... both in real life and in an actual dream. She loves you though... sooo sooo much and she knows you're hurting, even if you don't tell her outright. Big hugz.