Dear Evil Genius

Dear Evil Genius who created the super- bug that has infected my family,

I don't know why you unleashed this virus on my family, but whatever you want ( short of taking the children, husband or my limbs ) you can have. It's been 4 days now with 2 sick parents, and by sick I mean so sick they can barely manage to feed the children. ( "D, do you want to eat Cheerios or Rice Crispies for supper?"). The house is a disaster zone, the laundry is piling up and we are running out of everything edible.
C.S. is very whiny and clingy and wants both parents in her sight as much as possible. If she can't have that she wants to nurse, for 45 minutes at a time, while standing on my lap. I don't know how you made that part of the virus, but it's happening.
D is coughing and sniffling and keeps saying she may puke. I don't know if you included a puking component in this virus or if she just likes to say "puke". Please don't make her start throwing up, she will run out of clothes to wear very quickly and then we will have a naked and snotty 5 year old asking for cuddles to keep warm because its so freaking cold here.
It's -40 C with the windchill which makes leaving the house even less appealing. (You are a very lucky evil genius or you have also mastered controlling the weather as well as germ warfare.) One of us is going to have to go to a store soon but I don't know how we will decide. We can't use any type of physical or mental contest as that would use up any energy we had for going to the store.
Please make it stop, now. I'll pay you, do you take Pay.pal? I could crochet you a nice hat, would that work? I'll bake you some cookies, I make really good cookies. Just make it stop.


....
I apologize if you are annoyed by this post but I am stuck in bed and can't sleep and I only have my phone for entertainment. I also signed up for Instagram before I got sick but can't take cute pictures while laying in bed. cdrichards188 if you want to see C.S. and/ or a whole lotta snow.

52 Weeks: Week Four

Excuse the crappy photograph, it doesn't do the girls or the moment justice. We had the nicest snuggle and playtime on the couch in the sun this morning.

This is my new hat. It does a great job covering up my messy hair on days when it's too warm to justify wearing a toque to drop D off at school. However, C.S. is a much cuter model than I am.

Another not so great photo, but if you look in the center of the circle you can see the realtor's sign on the neighbor's lawn.The burned out vehicles are just part of why the For Sale sign makes me happy.  (The vehicles have been there since the fire, 2 months ago.)

This makes me happy every single day. I installed a new motion-sensor light switch in the laundry room last Sunday. It works so much better than the old one and now the lights come on nice and bright every time I walk into the room with basket of laundry in one arm and a baby in the other. Everyone should have one of these for the laundry room.

52 Weeks: Week Three

It took me an extra week to finish it, but here is C.S. modelling her new "tweet-heart" hat.

In a repeat from FB, here is C.S. demonstrating her climbing skills (and my ability to get distracted)

 

 And there's more crafting. This is the first crochet pattern I have ever purchased, a mermaid tail for Barbie. D LOVES it and making my girls happy makes me happy.

 

 And finally some happiness that is just for me. Definitely not fabulous, sexy shoes, but because my Birks that I wore as slippers have literally disintegrated this week, my feet are very happy to have new shoes to protect them from our cold hardwood floors. Super comfy and they weight nothing.

52 Weeks: Week Two

You can't resist this happiness. Not too much is better than a happy baby celebrating her birthday.

I know I'm cheating since I already posted about these this week, but because the cupcakes brought my taste buds so much happiness this week I had to use them again. (They made need to be used yet again in a "confessions" post since I'm pretty sure I ate 6 on Wednesday alone.)

This week's art project with D. She loved the paint by number project and has plans to be an artist so I see many more of these in my future.

I have loved watching the paper white bulb D brought home from a field trip to a local green house grow for the last few weeks. They won't last very long, but at least I have some gorgeous pictures.

One!

My baby is one!

- C.S.'s newest (and best) skill is giving kisses. If I say "mmwwaahh" and make a kissy face, I get a big wet baby kiss! And then she laughs because she's so proud of herself. It is disgustingly cute.

- She will not attempt to walk on her own, but will now consent to use her walker. I think it's just because she likes to run into things and say "bbmm, bbmm." (her version of "boom, boom")

- She is starting to stand up for herself and defend her personal space when D gets too close. I don't want her to learn to be mean, but it's good for her to be able to decide when she wants to be hugged/mauled.

- She is learning what everyday objects are for. If she has a cup, she holds it like she is going to have a drink. If she finds a brush or comb, she puts it in her hair.  If she finds anything shaped remotely like a phone, it goes to her ear and she sometimes even says something that sounds like "Hi!"

- I don't think C.S. is talking yet, but it's coming soon. She can repeat some sounds we make and is very close on a few words, or I think she is.

We had presents and cupcakes tonight after supper. No big parties here. We didn't do one for D's first birthday either so S.C. is not getting short changed. Most of the local people who would have been invited to a party were just here on New Years Eve so we didn't need another party.

On to the pictures:

Oh, Mama, you're so funny!

 

 Are you sure you want me to sit up there?

 Ooh, presents, a doll and tub toys and puzzles!

(yes we let her open presents on top of the dining room table,

it's the only place outside the kitchen with good light after dark.)

Mmmm, cupcake.

 (no dairy, but plenty of sugar)

 

We are SO doing this every night!

(This is extreme joy, not anger)

As I was lighting her birthday candle tonight, I couldn't help but think about the candle we never got to light and the cupcake that was not smooshed between pudgy little fingers. Having C.S. here is good, even very good sometimes, but even in the best times, maybe especially in the best times, there is always the pain of what might have been.

Almost

I almost made it through the holiday season without crying but taking down the Christmas tree was too much. Packing up his ornaments, being forced to acknowledge that those ornaments are all the Christmas he will ever have was too much. Cue the big ugly cry.

I almost made an effort to try to patch up a friendship over the holidays. I set aside a Christmas card and a family picture to send, but I never did it. I never felt like dealing with any more difficult feelings on top of the ones already floating around inside me. I kept telling myself,  "Tomorrow. I'll do it tomorrow.", then tomorrow comes and I still don't have the energy.

I almost lost my marbles this week. The ornament swap refuses to end because some people won't answer my increasingly grouchy emails. I felt all this pressure to make C.S.'s birthday special, even though I know she will not notice or care. I went to meetings (babyloss support group and LLL) on Sunday and Monday evening and therefore lost that time to get things done without help from the girls. It just felt like there was pressure building up inside my head and I was anxious all the time. I even debated skipping my kick boxing class last night to frost cupcakes but it turns out that hitting things was just what I needed to calm myself down.

C.S. is almost 1. Her birthday is today, but she won't be officially 1 until after 7:30 tonight. I can't believe that it's been a year since I spent the whole day in the hospital waiting for the surgery to deliver her. That I've had a whole year to cuddle a live, healthy baby.

I almost successfully made dairy free cupcakes for C.S. (She has a dairy intolerance, nothing serious just rashes and bad gas, but she feels better if we avoid giving her dairy.) I say almost successfully, because I did bake the cupcakes using my favorite recipe and they are dairy free and they are tasty but they are far from beautiful.

 

I'm pretty sure that I forgot the lemon juice I was supposed to add when I substituted full fat coconut milk for sour cream. Well, at least the dairy free buttercreme frosting was far more successful and does a very good job of hiding all the imperfections.

52 Weeks: Week One

So I am being horribly unoriginal and borrowing this idea from the lovely and talented Lazy Seamstress. (I hope to have pictures of Hester to post for her later this year.) Hopefully it will spread some happy around my little corner of the internet and the real world too. On to the pictures....


Some happy leftover from Christmas. These were part of the beautiful arrangement I got from G for Christmas.

 D loves colouring and we have spent a lot of time together with crayons this week. (Yes she also loves all the princesses produced by the W.D. corp.)

 C.S. playing with one of her Christmas presents. It is amazing to watch her figure out new things.

My latest crochet project, a hat for C.S. I love seeing my girls wear things I made for them. 

I should be writing a "real" post too but have this inconvenient need for sleep that will prevent that from happening today. Maybe tomorrow when D goes back to school?