Saturday, December 22, 2012

And I'm right back there

All it takes are two little words "we're expecting..." and I'm right back where I was 2 and a half years ago. Consumed with jealousy yet terrified that another baby could die. I have been told I will be getting another niece or nephew this summer. It's good, it really is, but then again what if this baby is a boy? What if it's a boy and Reid is officially relegated to footnote status in my family because there will be a live son/grandson? He's already been unofficially given that status because no other family members ever mention him. (Plenty of friends do and some cousins too, but not immediate family members.) This is not what I needed to help me get through Christmas.

4 comments:

Jessica said...

(((hugs))) mama! Wish I could give you one and be there for you in person! <3

delaney's mom said...

i feel the same way about baby girls. luckily all my friends have had boys since Lillian's death. she would be 2 and half now and it still stings to see a newborn girl. hugs and good luck

Jeanette said...

Massive hugs to you sweetie, it just stings so doesn't it?
I'm expecting a new nephew too, except no one told me, and no one talks about him to me which is weird.

Lisa said...

I'm sorry. I am the same way. I am not purely happy and excited when people say they are expecting and the first thought that runs through my mind is "I hope it's not a girl." I guess that never gets easier.