Friday, February 3, 2012

22 months

It's the first "3rd" since C.S. arrived. Having her here doesn't make it any better that Reid isn't, but it definitely leaves less room in my brain for thinking about it. I want to have come to some wise conclusion about how to deal with missing my son while loving my new daughter but wisdom is well beyond the ability of my sleep-deprived brain. I just know that there is still a Reid-shaped hole in my heart, despite the fact that there is a new C.S.-shaped piece of heart there too.

My friend sent me these flowers right after C.S. arrived.

I don't think she could have done any better. It's the perfect representation of my children and my heart.

I can't believe that it's only 2 more months until Reid's 2nd birthday. 2 years seems like forever and in some ways it has been. So many things have changed in the last 2 years. I'm trying to believe that C.S.'s arrival is the start of a happier chapter of my life (thus the new "cheerier" blog design), but I know that I still have plenty of sad moments left to go through too. I hope you will all stick around even if I start blogging about good days with D and C.S. and my attempts to be crafty in between posts about missing Reid. I still need the support of my fellow DBM's to get through the rough days and I hope to share the good days with you too.


lesliedp said...

Of course.. so looking forward to your updates!

Lisa said...

Those flowers are perfect! I totally understand how you are feeling. My blog is pretty much the same way and I hope others stick around as well. I will definitely keep reading yours, I am sure there will be tons of posts I can relate to.

The part about the Reid shaped hole in your heart......perfectly desribes how it is.

crystal said...

Your flowers are beautiful!!! We are here supporting you and lifting you up every step of the way. Through the good and the bad!!! Praying for you!!!

Elaine said...

It is really hard to process the new baby thing while completely still missing and mourning the one that left. My rainbow is 8 months now and I still have many moments where I'm confused and sad and messed up over it all.
I am so happy for you and I can't wait to see and hear updates about your new little bundle! It brings a whole new set of emotions up and you def still need a good support system.

Catherine W said...

Beautiful flowers, absolutely perfect. What a wonderful friend you have.

You and C.S. have been on my mind a lot recently. I found it such a happy time after R arrived but, also, tinged with a deep sadness that I hadn't expected. As you say, good days and bad days.

Wishing you many, many more of the former and always here for the latter xo

Merry said...

I will always be here. I'm not daring to think too hard at the mo, I want Ben's baby moon to be his, but my god it is hard.

Dale said...

Looking forward to updates on the new one!

(posting as my husband as i don't see an option to choose my blog)