Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Post-October 15th Issues
I felt like such a bad DBM last weekend. I planned a date for D.G. and myself for Saturday night, not realizing that it was October 15th. I had to light my candles around 6 pm and then after 10 pm when we got home. It was a delayed anniversary date that I had already rescheduled once (due to my massive cold that I still haven't completely gotten rid of) so I couldn't cancel again. We had a really nice evening which made me feel even more like a bad DBM. Of course we cancelled out the nice evening by spending most of Sunday arguing/fighting. Apparently I am too controlling right now. Not really shocking that a woman who couldn't/can't control any of the "big" things in life, like whether her children live or die, is slightly obsessed with controlling the little things in life. (So much for being proud that we are still together and sometimes happy after 10 years of marriage and 18 months of grief.) Hormones ensured that there was lots of crying on my part too so I felt like complete crap all around. Why can't anything be easy for more than 12 hours in a row?