Today, being a DBM definitely did not make me a better mom to D. Today we had her first soccer practice. It wasn't a hardcore practice. mostly just a get together to hand out jerseys and information and meet the other parents. D.G. is the coach for D's team despite having zero organized soccer experience, but they needed volunteers and I volunteered him (with his permission). D was fine for the first part of the practice, the run around with the other kids while we waited for everyone to arrive part. She was as excited as anyone else to get her jersey and start kicking a ball, but when her daddy started actually coaching, she melted down. Just cried non-stop. "I want to go home.", "I want my daddy, he's my favorite" (not true, she's a total mommy's girl), "I don't want to play soccer anymore". I was patient for about the first 2 minutes, then my patience ran out. I didn't completely snap, but I was definitely pretty hard on her. I tried asking nicely, I tried bribing her, I resorted to threatening her, nothing would get her to stop crying and go play with the other kids. The other parents probably think I'm a complete bag but D just was being impossible and I was stressed from being around all these new people and their multiple living children. (Is depressed/nuts better than being a bag?)
I hate that I was so impatient with D at any time, but especially on the day before M-day. It makes me feels like a such a bad, ungrateful mother. Thank goodness 3 year olds have short memories, because she was fine 10 minutes after we got home. I wasn't, but she was. I am so lucky to have her here with me, but on a bad day it doesn't make it any easy to deal with typical 3 year old behaviour. Ugh.
Love to all you mama's "celebrating" tomorrow, especially to those who don't have a little set of arms to give them a M-day hug tomorrow morning.
2 comments:
I feel this exact same way many times. 3 year olds are difficult, but when grief is thrown in there, it makes it that much harder. Even though she has helped me get through it more than she knows, it's still hard sometimes. Hope your Mother's Day was peaceful.
Hope you had a peaceful Mother's Day
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