I'm not just tired anymore. There is a serious amount of feeling sorry for myself going on. Not so much about Reid not being here, mostly about not be able to get pregnant. (well pregnant with a viable pregnancy if you want to get technical). A couple from my support group whose daughter died 10 days before Reid are being induced tomorrow. Their plan for trying again was to just wait and see what happens. I mean it's great for them, but it hurts to watch.
I now know there is a kind of waiting that is crappier than the normal 2ww, waiting for your cycle to restart after a blighted ovum, miscarriage or other false start. I have no idea when things will happen but I was told there is no reason to wait to try again so I am going nuts waiting for some sign from my body. I am determined to not miss whatever tiny window might be open.
While I am bitching and moaning, I might as well get some other stuff out of my head too. We were surprised and touched by thoughtful gestures from family and friends over the last week (will post about that when I am feeling more positive) but right now it's the people who didn't do or say anything about Reid's first anniversary who are on my mind. We didn't here anything, not anything at all, from any member of D.G.'s family. Not his mom, not either of his sisters, not his dad. I know Hallmark doesn't make a card for this occasion but really wouldn't you think that you should say something to your son/brother around the time that his child should have his first birthday? Urgh, it is getting harder by the day to tell myself that I should make an effort to have a real relationship with these people for D.G. and D's sakes.