...the list of women who thought they were getting another chance at this baby thing and then had that chance taken away too.
See, I got a BFP just over 2 weeks ago but wasn't ready to share the news, partly because I was in shock and scared and partly because I didn't want to take the focus off Reid's 1st anniversary. He doesn't get a real birthday but I still wanted his day to be about him, not about a new baby. I was happy to finally be pregnant and I started to make appointments and plans. I had just under 2 weeks of thinking that come November I might get to bring home a live baby. I started to feel queasy and peeing like crazy and I could smell things a mile away. Then this past Friday, I started spotting. Saturday, it turned into blood flow that lasted until Monday afternoon. When the bleeding slowed down I thought maybe things would be okay, maybe I lost a twin or the placenta was growing close to my cervix. I never had any cramping and didn't pass any big clots and overall there was less bleeding than a normal period. I got in for an U/S this morning and there was no sign of a baby anywhere. (There was a very VERY thorough internal scan, woo hoo.) Luckily (ha ha), the U/S clinic is in the same building where Dr. K was working that day so I was sent downstairs to see her and get the official word. (The radiologist is going with blighted ovum.) I did get a hug along with the paperwork for a hcg series. I guess now it's all over except for the crying and the blood tests.
I "knew" that this was a possibility, I mean I saw the same kind of thing happen to too many people especially over the last couple weeks, but I thought I would be one of the ones who somehow snuck through and made it out with a live kid this time. The universe is definitely not on my side. Who "loses" another baby the week before the first anniversary of their full term stillbirth, even if it turns out that that baby only existed in my head?