So this is what 11 months is like. Well to be more precise, this is what 11 months of DBM-hood combined with 9 months of unsuccessful ttc is like. (Not that I am implying that successful ttc makes the DBM-hood better, but managing to get knocked up and looking forward to the possibility of bringing home a live baby does affect your perspective.)
I don't have any new earth shattering revelations to make on this anniversary, not that I have had any on any other anniversaries either. But the previous anniversaries felt like moving forward or away from that awful day and this one feels like I am circling back towards it. This anniversary feels like the official start of a count down to the one year mark. This my last month of being able to say that "1 year ago, I was..." and know that it meant I was happy, or at the very least blissfully ignorant of how much worse things could be. This next month is going to be hard.
In order to try to help with that, I signed up for a Yoga for Grief Support class. I do miss taking yoga classes I completely associate the studio I used to go to with pre-natal yoga. There is no way I can do anything meditative unless I'm not going to be the only person in the room crying so this hopefully will be the yoga class for me.
Love to all the other mama's whose baby's anniversary is today.