Thursday, March 3, 2011

11 months

So this is what 11 months is like. Well to be more precise, this is what 11 months of DBM-hood combined with 9 months of unsuccessful ttc is like. (Not that I am implying that successful ttc makes the DBM-hood better, but managing to get knocked up and looking forward to the possibility of bringing home a live baby does affect your perspective.)

I don't have any new earth shattering revelations to make on this anniversary, not that I have had any on any other anniversaries either. But the previous anniversaries felt like moving forward or away from that awful day and this one feels like I am circling back towards it. This anniversary feels like the official start of a count down to the one year mark. This my last month of being able to say that "1 year ago, I was..." and know that it meant I was happy, or at the very least blissfully ignorant of how much worse things could be. This next month is going to be hard.

In order to try to help with that, I signed up for a Yoga for Grief Support class. I do miss taking yoga classes I completely associate the studio I used to go to with pre-natal yoga. There is no way I can do anything meditative unless I'm not going to be the only person in the room crying so this hopefully will be the yoga class for me.

Love to all the other mama's whose baby's anniversary is today.


Big Love, Big Acceptance - or so I say said...

Thinking of you today on Reid's 11 month anniversary. I won't lie - it was a tough month for me approaching Acacia's one year anniversary. Somehow we get through it...

I hope your yoga class is a good fit for you. It sounds like a "good" way to work with grief.

Much love to you and yours.

Merry said...

The yoga sounds a good idea.

This month I am grimly angry that the last ever day I was happy was April Fool's Day - and I joked I was glad Freddie wasn't born then. And even angrier that Easter doesn't fall inside the noe year, so we still have that to do once we get there.

Much love, as ever.

Missy said...

We can share yoga stories! If I can make myself wear those pants. All my love to you on Reid's 11 month anniversary~

The Sancken's said...

I'm thinking about you! I'm a new reader, but not new to DBM. March 4th marks my baby girl's 1 year Angelversary. Just continue to stay as strong as possible for the next month. For me, the anticipation was worse than the day. It kind of gives you a powerful feeling for a little bit: like, "I can do this! I've made it to a year." Good luck with yoga, I hope it works for you.