Sunday, February 27, 2011

Not ready for spring

Winter has reasserted it's grip on our city this weekend. It has snowed the last couple days, the wind is blowing and the temperatures are about to plunge back to sub -25°C again. Even with all the cold and snow, I can't deny that spring is coming. It's light outside when D and I crawl out of bed at 7:30 am and it's still light outside when D.G. comes from work and even after we eat supper. The angle of the sunlight shining into the livingroom has changed and it even feels warmer. (from the relative safety of the couch) There is no doubt that spring is coming and I dread it. I should be happy to see the end of another cold, dark winter, but instead I want it to stay cold and dark. The arrival of spring feels like another slap in the face from the universe. Nothing has changed inside me since the winter started. I am still sad, depressed, angry, anti-social and not pregnant. (No wait, something has changed, I am more bitter than I was at the beginning of winter. ) Nothing should be allowed to change outside yet.


Dana said...

I can relate. It's nice when the weather mimics how we feel. Dark and dreary. I guess it sort of seems like the world is going on in spite of our babies dying when the weather is really nice. We know it is moving on anyway, but I think we feel more like we are stuck and not moving along too since we still feel dark and dreary. Does that make sense?

Violet1122 said...

Sorry I've been MIA lately - thanks for your kind comments on my blog!

I know what you mean about wanting time to stand still. I remember being amazed that when something so devastating happens the vast majority of people in the world still go about their merry business, the seasons change, and there are actually people who are laughing it up and having a good time.

I think of you so often, and I'm praying you'll get a BFP soon.

((Big Hugs))

Missy said...

Sending love your way today and remembering with you.