I feel like I'm stuck in a deep and terrible rut. I am trapped in a lonely and desolate place. I don't know which way I am supposed to go or if there even is any where for me to go. I "know" how I got here, but sometimes it still seems surreal. I am so tired so having to force myself to do things for my daughter of husband. I'm sick not being able to really enjoy anything without thinking about how things should be different.