Thursday, July 1, 2010

Stupid, stupid, stupid

I can't even stay away for a few hours. I went back on FB to check on friend who claimed to be having mid-life crisis (I am so glad I have at least 1 friend who doesn't have kids) just to see if I could guess what was going on and there it is, yet another baby announcement. And of course, it's another boy. And I am a total wreck again.

It's not just that I am angry and sad because Reid is gone. It' s that yet another person who was supposed to be my friend, (I even personally called her to tell her about Reid) didn't call me to tell me that her baby had arrived. (He has born over a week ago). The kid is out and safe, I don't think she has to worry about me jinxing her pregnancy anymore. This is just the kind of cheering up I needed to go with the rapid approach of the 3 month milestone on Saturday. (And my hair is all falling out as well, another gift that comes after having a baby whether they are alive or not)


Anonymous said...

I bet your friend didn't tell you because she thought it might upset you, rather than worrying about you being bad luck. <3

Lareina said...

Oh hun... they just keep pouring in don't they... I know every facebook update like that still makes me hurt sometimes... She probably didn't want to "share her joy" because she thought it would hurt you.

It's hard not feeling like a jinx though... I know I stayed away from people who were having babies not only because it hurt to see them but because I knew some of them felt that way - it's hard not to feel like something you did caused our baby's to die... and even if people don't say it, some do wonder what you and I did even though we know there was nothing else we could've done to save our babies.

I totally understand the horrible hair falling out stage too - I had it for 3 months and every hair that I found that fell off my head reminded me that my baby was gone... and there was LOTS of hair... I hope yours doesn't last as long... BIG HUGZ!