52 Weeks: Week 21

Week 21 is late, mostly because week 22 has gotten off to a rocky start. I've already been to the dentist twice this week and it's only Wednesday. I got to have a couple hours to myself this afternoon but it was so I could experience my first root canal.

Speaking of firsts, C.S. ate her first handful of dirt when we were outside working in the yard on the weekend. She loved digging but now I'm wondering how I'm going to protect my garden from her form of help.

I think both girls may now have lego fever now. (Technically the stuff C.S. playing with isn't lego, but it is super cute when she says, "Lego, lego, lego!".)

I finally made some time to do something creative and finished painting this frame to go into a care package sent out by my support group.

 

I hope the days when C.S. can amuse herself for 10 minutes with only a blanket last for a very long time.

52 Weeks: Week 20

More spring flowers are arriving all the time. Tulips are one of my favorites and I think this one is extra special because the color at the base of the petals is blue. All the others are yellow inside but this one is special for some reason.

Continuing with the blue theme, this week I coloured my own hair for the first time. I love having it all dark again and hopefully the blue lasts longer than the purple did. Also just colouring the highlights saved me from accidently dying my forehead and scalp blue.

 We don't know who she inherited it from but C.S. has developed curly hair in the last couple months. It is so friggin' cute that I just melt every time I see it freshly washed after her bath.

No clever (or otherwise) segue  for this picture. Just D having a blast at the park. We have to enjoy this form of happiness now because the mosquitos has arrived and they are vicious.

52 Weeks: Week 19

Last week gave us a real taste of summer. It was 31°C, way too hot for me, but I got to see the girls in some cute summer clothes. We also discovered that C.S. has a serious tricycle obsession.

The heat also got the spring flowers blooming. I can't see these without thinking of Freddie.

We finally revived our DIY pedicure group, in time for my friend E's birthday. At least now I can wear sandals without being embarrassed about the state of my toenails. (I wish I could say the same about the state of my summer wardrobe.)

And since Sunday was Mother's Day, I feel like I have to include this even though the day is full of mixed emotions to say the least. However, I do know that I am very grateful to be a mother to these very alive little girls as well as their brother.

Why today sucks

The gift made by my oldest child got broken by my youngest child and my middle child will never be here. I think that pretty much covers it. 

Love to everyone out there who is missing a little person today. 

52 Weeks: Week Eighteen

Week 18's photos are late again and really bad on top of the lateness. I don't know what's going on but every picture I take lately turns out terribly. Maybe it's time to start reading photography blogs...

This week C.S. discovered the joy of dressing up. "Dess, dess!" Luckily some of the dress up clothes D has out grown are 2 piece outfits so she can just wear the tops and I don't have to worry about her tripping constantly.

I realized last weekend that Mother's Day was bearing down on us once again. Thanks to Pi.nter.est, I found some ideas for cards and gifts for the 2 grandmas and 2 great grandmas. After chasing down some supplies, much crafting ensued.

My lovely friend R and her family came to visit this weekend. We had a fabulous time hanging out in the back yard as evidenced by D and E here. (The garbage cans in the background are also more proof of my crappy photography skills.)
 

The visit also resulted in more happiness as we had a bbq for supper on Saturday and enjoyed the first hamburgers and beergueritas of the year. So yummy.

Nothing like waking up to a knife in the chest

I sleep with the radio on. It's a habit left over from the early days after Reid died when I woke up so frequently and needed a distraction to keep my from spending my nights sobbing uncontrollably in the dark. This morning I woke up to an older woman's voice talking about her memories of her mom. ( Some type of story about Mothers Day I assume.) the first thing I heard clearly was: "My mother had 5 children including one stillborn baby. She was under general anesthesia and my father said 'Put it in the furnace.' So between my father and the doctors and the nurses, she never got to see her baby. "
Now I'm laying head my heart aching for my baby and all the millions of mothers who were never allowed to see and hold their babies. Who were told to move on and forget and didn't have the Internet and blogs to help them find each other in the early hours of the morning. I just want my baby boy.