Thursday, April 5, 2012

Reid's 2nd

Thank you for all the lovely messages in honour of Reid's birthday. I wanted to post something sooner but I was felled, not by a wall of grief, but by a combination of a nasty cold, the responsibility of caring for my two girls and a helping of grief too.

We started the day with cupcakes for breakfast. This year they were chocolate with peanut butter icing. I choose to believe that Reid would have liked the same foods as the living members of the family and therefore would have loved these.

We picked up balloons the day before and D wrote some notes for her brother.

D went to school that morning, giving me time to cry without upsetting her. When she came home, we got her and C.S. dressed in their new t-shirts. (I have even cuter pictures but the light was too bright and I don't have the energy to edit photos right now.) I also ordered a Thing 2 t-shirt in size 2T for Reid. D.G. didn't get it but I know you all do.

We went out for lunch and then spent the afternoon at the science centre. Of course someone had to ask where Thing 2 was and was totally shocked when D told him that Thing 2 died.

Neither of our families acknowledged Reid's birthday in any way, except for one of my cousins who sent a nice email last week. The only non-DBM friends I heard from were R and G who have been amazing through the last 2 years. G, who can always be counted on to send me red daisies, came through again.

This birthday was so different from last year. Of course having C.S. here is part of it, but that's not all. I alternated between wanting to spend the evening of the 2nd and early morning of the 3rd sitting vigil like I did last year and wanting to just be okay with it being a normal evening. The compromise ended up being watching basketball with D.G. and nursing C.S. while "I can't believe that it's the night before Reid's birthday and I'm watching basketball." repeated over and over in my head. (I NEVER watch basketball.) This April 3rd still hurt, a lot, but it wasn't as devastating as last year. It's kind of strange to not be devastated but I am trying not to feel guilty about that. I do still have to get through Easter this weekend which will forever be intertwined with Reid's death for me so there may still be some emotional devastation waiting around the corner for me.


Dana said...

I'm glad that Reid's birthday was more peaceful than last year. I've also been thinking about how I don't feel as devastated all the time anymore, but I had a helping of it last night and I liked knowing that it is still there, just deeper down.

I was thinking of you and Reid on the 3rd. I love the Tshirts and that you got one for Reid.

B said...

It's only right that Reid got a t-shirt too.

(I mistyped that as 'Reid got a t-shirt two'. I kind of like that.)

I'm glad this year wasn't as devastating for you. I was thinking of you all on the third.

Big Love, Big Acceptance - or so I say said...

I'm late on this, but loved reading about your celebration for Reid's second anniversary.

I love that you like to believe he likes what the rest of the family does and made him chocolate and peanut butter cupcakes - yum! The boy has great taste! And absolutely adore the t-shirts and that Reid got one too; of course he did.

Thinking of you.