Trying to adjust to life without my son...
Friday, April 13, 2012
Another way loss has changed me
A normal mom whose new baby sleeps through the night will wake up and rush to the baby's crib to see if they are okay.
Me, I wake and realize that C.S. has slept through the night and I wait a few minutes to go check on her because I know if something terrible has happened, it is now too late to stop it. I want a few more minutes of the life where she is probably alive. There's no point in rushing into a place where your heart is crushed into a million pieces again.
C.S. is fine this time, but I know there is no guarantee that it will always be that way.
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3 comments:
(((hugs))) I know that this will be something that I deal with too. I'm glad C.S. is fine and I pray she will continue to be!
Oh yes.....sometimes I am afraid to go in to wake Coen up in the morning because I'm afraid something might have happened to him during the night.
Oh Car. I'm so glad it's not just me. My husband can't understand why I don't rush to the children when I have a little scare. But I know that it happens so quickly and you are so powerless to prevent it, that there is no point in running in and I want to have a few last minutes.
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