In my head I debated on whether or not I would write a 21 months post. Then today happened and I needed to write something, sorry if it's rambling and disjointed.
I know this next little while is going to be filled with reminders of things that I didn't get to do for Reid. (that is if Thing 3 ever comes out and comes to live with us.) I had a huge cry yesterday in the shower just thinking of all the things I wish I would done for Reid after he died. Good thing I didn't get started on all the things I wish I could have done with a living child or I would still be in there crying.
There will still be lots of chances for me to say, ".. and my son would be 21 months old if he had lived." over the next little while too. I plan to take every chance I get so that a least a few people will think of Reid in the middle of the fuss over Thing 3's arrival (at least I hope there will be a baby to make a fuss over).
I really wanted to make the 3rd a less crappy day for myself by making it the day before a really good day but the universe (or whoever is in charge of fetal development) didn't agree with that plan. Not much I can do about it, but I am so fed up with having my plans tossed out the window.