In my head I debated on whether or not I would write a 21 months post. Then today happened and I needed to write something, sorry if it's rambling and disjointed.
I know this next little while is going to be filled with reminders of things that I didn't get to do for Reid. (that is if Thing 3 ever comes out and comes to live with us.) I had a huge cry yesterday in the shower just thinking of all the things I wish I would done for Reid after he died. Good thing I didn't get started on all the things I wish I could have done with a living child or I would still be in there crying.
There will still be lots of chances for me to say, ".. and my son would be 21 months old if he had lived." over the next little while too. I plan to take every chance I get so that a least a few people will think of Reid in the middle of the fuss over Thing 3's arrival (at least I hope there will be a baby to make a fuss over).
I really wanted to make the 3rd a less crappy day for myself by making it the day before a really good day but the universe (or whoever is in charge of fetal development) didn't agree with that plan. Not much I can do about it, but I am so fed up with having my plans tossed out the window.
Trying to adjust to life without my son...
1 comment:
Sorry you are having a rough day. Sometimes I get upset too because people don't talk, think about, or ask about my other babies. That is partially my fault since I kept them a secret so long - and it's partially understandable. People like to talk about the living baby in front of them, not the dead ones - I get that.
But it's still hard sometimes. I hope you get lots of opportunities to talk about Reid. And for what it's worth - I will always remember him.
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