Wednesday, December 14, 2011

I finally got what I wished for

I realized a few days ago that this time spent on bed rest is exactly what I wished for in the weeks and months after Reid died. I desperately wished to be allowed to just close the door on the rest of the world and spend my days curled up in bed with only the TV and the computer for company. All I wanted was to be left alone and not have to deal with anything.

Now I have had 7 weeks of bed rest which had included me being at home alone during the day for the last 3 weeks. When I got hospitalized, I was horrified, not just about the risks to this baby but also about being stuck in bed for 8 weeks. How did things change so much that I was upset at the thought of not being able to go places and see people (and cook and do housework for that matter.)? How did I get to a place where I had a "normal" reaction to this? Is it all because of the pregnancy or did I actually start to heal in some small way?

No comments: