Saturday, September 3, 2011

17 months

I'm glad I didn't realize that the 2nd/3rd of this month fell on Friday/Saturday. D.G. was even off work this Friday so it would have been a lot too much deja vu for me to handle if I had thought about it in advance. Of course the way my brain is working these days, I probably would have forgotten about it a few hours later. I was in the grocery store yesterday and thought I should pick up some gerbera's for today. I spent 30 minutes in the store and never remembered to go back to the floral area. I can read stories from Faces of Loss and think "how awful for that woman, how did she get through that loss?" and then I remember that I had a different (or similar) yet also horrible loss and I end up on the floor crying.

Today, I had such a clear picture of a chubby little boy trying to keep up with his big sister as she ran down the sidewalk at full speed. He'd never be able to catch her, but that wouldn't stop him from trying. I miss that little boy so much.

3 comments:

JoyAndSorrow said...

I always feel like I'm inside and outside of the loss at the same time, like you...I can read stories on Faces and feel so horrible for the women, and go for hours before I'm like "Oh yeah, that's me too." Such an odd sensation, isn't it? ~Lindsay

Missy said...

The visions are so real and come out of nowhere. Always remembering Reid with you my friend~

B said...

Oh Cara. Sending love and remembering Reid with you xx