Sunday, July 3, 2011

My 15 months is someone else's 1 year

Sending love to Missy on Chai's first birthday. I have been thinking of you all day and I hope that all of your plans turned out beautifully. I am still searching for the perfect wind chime for my garden to remind me of you and Chai and I can't wait to hear them outside my window.


We've been home for nearly a week and I've just been in this really weird place. I'm trying to just avoid thinking, about anything, altogether. Today mark's 15 months since Reid died and by now he should be this walking, talking little person. I still wonder what he would look like and what his voice would sound like (and what it would be like to be a relatively normal person. Seriously I don't really remember. It's like everything that happened before Reid happened to someone else.) I just want to survive the next couple months until D goes back to preschool and I can go back to my semi-comfortable routine where I hide from the world most of the time and suffer no guilt about D not having enough time with other kids.

1 comment:

Missy said...

Thanks Car! Maybe I will just have to send you a chime! There are always thoughts of Reid and Juniper here when the 3rd of the month rolls around. Much love to you and Reid, I so wish they were here doing all of the things they should be~