Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Bad mommy

C.S. fell this evening and knocked out one of her front teeth. She is doing fine so far and was amazingly calm and cooperative once we got past the initial bleeding and shock. The dentist thought she would heal up jut fine but we are waiting for an appointment with a paediatric specialist. I however am devastated. I know she hasn't been disabled or become seriously ill, but I feel like I've broken my baby, my rainbow baby, my "second" chance. My beautiful little girl has been changed in an instant and every time I see the difference in her I feel horrible for not protecting her better. 
And just to make the evening more fun, my check engine light came on while I was driving C.S. to the dentist and now have to find a way to get it in to the shop before the holiday weekend starts. I also need to find a way to get around without my vehicle and it's started snowing again so walking isn't a great option. 
Did I mention that I really don't like Easter?


janelle pinto said...

As a mama to a 38 week stillborn last May I'm always feeling that I could have saved and protected her somehow. The reality is though that I played it by the book and more. Please don't blame yourself. Your children will quickly see it and give the same respect to themselves. Don't live life on eggshells because you don't feel like you deserved a second chance. She would never learn self confidence and not be able to live in the real world. Love yourself <3

RyAnne Carr said...

Thats a terrible week to surround what is already a hard grief season. Hoping you got things figured out and were able to take some rest to "de-brief" yourself from the trauma of the tooth. Im with you on not liking Easter, or the month of April. And snow! thats just awful. Hang in there!