I never had a baby shower for Reid. Even before Reid died, I wouldn't have had a baby shower before the baby arrived. Mostly because meeting the baby is most of the fun of a baby shower and at least partly because it seemed presumptuous to have a party before the baby arrived. (Not that I actually thought something would go wrong, it's just the way things are done where I grew up.) I did have a lunch with my co-workers right before starting maternity leave and they gave me a few onesies and a very generous gift card to buy baby stuff. The onesies got saved for C.S. and the gift card became my "REID" bracelet.
There weren't a lot of other things that were bought/made for Reid; a bassinet, a new ring sling, his going "home outfit" and some blankets. We didn't know his gender before he was born and we hadn't known for D either so we already had a gender neutral nursery ready for our second baby. We just didn't know that Thing 2 would never get to use that nursery.