I totally intended to post last night, but we spent the whole evening trying to keep C.S. from yelling the house down. She would nurse for 10 minutes, sleep (on me) for 10 minutes and then wake up and start over again. I am hoping that it was just gas but we will see how she is tonight.
I feel like I have no instinct or memory of how to be a good mom to a newborn. I have done it once semi-successfully before so I expected to feel more confident this time around, but I just seem to see potential disaster in every decision no matter how small or inconsequential. I just to want to be able to feel like I am doing my best as C.S.'s mom and that feeling isn't there.
C.S. is growing and beautiful and now that her face has filled out, she looks like her brother when she is asleep. And every time I see him in her face, I want to sob and yell and scream that he never got to be a month old.
Here is C.S. in all her 1 month old glory, all 8.5 lbs of her: