So now it's Fall

How has the changing of seasons (from summer to fall) impacted you in your grief journey? ( for the Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope September writing challenge)

There are still 2 more days until the official start of fall, but here it has looked a felt like fall for almost a month. Fall will be my third season without Reid and most of all it brings a feeling of disappointment. Spring was blurred by pain, both physical and emotional. Summer came and brought some hope that I could survive here in Dead Baby Land. It also brought the hope for another child and warm, sunny days spent with D. Summer is over and I am still surviving, but it disappointed on the other 2 fronts. This summer was cold and damp and rainy. (It's not just my perception, there were rainfall records set all over AB and SK this summer). The majority of my garden didn't have enough sunshine and warmth to mature and be ready for harvest. I was holding out hope that Indian Summer would come along soon and save the garden but it was wiped out by frost this past week. The same way that the hope that I could be pregnant before fall came was destroyed.

This time last year, we were getting ready to tell the world that we were finally expecting our second child. Now looking ahead, all I see are reminders of what we had and who we were last year. Another series of disappointments in the form of unfulfilled plans and dreams.