Things you never want to tell your MIL

The next week and a bit is going to be jam-packed, with some good things and some not so great things. On Saturday we are going to the local Walk to Remember. It won't be an easy afternoon but I am still looking forward to it and it will be the first memorial event that I have felt was appropriate for D to come to with us. Then as soon as we get back, my MIL will be arriving (this is not so great, but I would never tell her). Just being around my MIL stresses me out for many reasons. I am not looking forward to this visit as she basically just announced she was coming (and no other weekends worked for her) without really asking if it was a good weekend for us. I don't think she has a clue that it is 6 months on Sunday. That brings me to Reid's 6 month anniversary on Sunday, which the Walk to Remember saves me from having to think of a way to commemorate. And to add to the fun, next Wednesday is D.G.'s and my 9th wedding anniversary (I literally just realized that tomorrow will be 14 years since we got together, holy crap). Neither one of us really feels like celebrating anything these days and there is a distinct lack of babysitters here. The only night that the MIL could watch D is on Reid's 6 month anniversary on Sunday and I am NOT celebrating my anniversary then. I told D.G. on the weekend that we should get U2 tickets for the concert here next June. I might feel up to going out in public again by then and since it's only 8 months away, we won't have a baby by then no matter what. ( Even if we get pregnant soon, I am not afraid of pre-term labour, just miscarriage, stillbirth and full term death, that seems reasonable right?)

Which brings me back to the blog title. There's one more thing happening in the next week. I should ovulate about a week from now. My MIL wanted to stay from Saturday until next Tuesday. The guest bedroom is directly below our bedroom and we have hardwood floors and a somewhat squeaky bed. Do you see my problem? What man wants to try to get his wife knocked up with his mom sleeping 10 feet away? Okay, don't answer that because there probably is someone that messed up out there. I told D.G. that he had 2 choices, DTD with his mom there or let me tell her she has to leave for her sister's sooner than planned if she wants another grandchild because I wasn't going to skip trying this month. To my surprise, he told her himself, but it doesn't change the fact the my MIL knows way too much about my sex life.

P.S. Thanks to the three five lovely ladies who gave me an award in the last few days. It means a lot to me that you are out there reading my blog. Now my problem is that I think nearly every blog I read has already been nominated because I am so slow moving these days. Please don't think badly of me, I was terrible with these kind of things before my brain got scrambled.

My baby is dead but at least...

... I don't have a side butt. I was in Ikea this morning (I know it's a prime location for the crying baby hit squad) but I wanted to pick up a couple things. D and I were standing in line and the woman in front of us with her roughly 4 year old boy had the worst butt ever. I mean really bad. She was not fat, maybe you could call her curvy at most, but her hips went straight out to the side while the back of her butt was completely flat. I know it was horribly mean to think about this poor girl's butt like this because she could easily be thinking awful things about how I look. (I definitely don't like the way my body looks these days as all my extra baby weight makes me look like I am still pregnant) Heck she could be a dead baby mama too for all I know. However, it did distract me from all the pregnant people and baby strollers while we waited in line so I'll go with it. It's a sign of how crappy life as a dead baby mama is when you have to stare strangers' butts to keep it together in public. Maybe next time there could be a cute college boy in front of us.

Running Away

I am fleeing the province for 2 weeks. D and I are heading out Monday morning and making the +800 km trip to my parents' farm. A whole day driving, alone with an almost 3 year old might make a normal person crazy, but since I may already be there, I am going to risk it. After 9 days, DH is flying to SK and then we will spend a few days with his family. Don't know what in the world we will do at his mom's place but it's only 2 or 3 days max. (DH parent's split up just after D was born so it makes for extra fun times when visiting the in-laws).

I can't wait to take D to the farm, but of course I keep thinking that I should be taking Reid for his first trip to the farm. This trip will also be my first chance to see my grandmother in almost a year and a half. Her first son (the baby before my mom) was stillborn more than 60 years ago, so I know she will have things to share with me that we have never talked about before. I haven't talked to her since Reid died since she is losing her hearing and I haven't felt like shouting my feelings into the phone while crying so I hope she isn't too upset at me either. ( is it weird that this image makes me giggle? more dead baby black humor I guess.)