Dear Evil Genius

Dear Evil Genius who created the super- bug that has infected my family,

I don't know why you unleashed this virus on my family, but whatever you want ( short of taking the children, husband or my limbs ) you can have. It's been 4 days now with 2 sick parents, and by sick I mean so sick they can barely manage to feed the children. ( "D, do you want to eat Cheerios or Rice Crispies for supper?"). The house is a disaster zone, the laundry is piling up and we are running out of everything edible.
C.S. is very whiny and clingy and wants both parents in her sight as much as possible. If she can't have that she wants to nurse, for 45 minutes at a time, while standing on my lap. I don't know how you made that part of the virus, but it's happening.
D is coughing and sniffling and keeps saying she may puke. I don't know if you included a puking component in this virus or if she just likes to say "puke". Please don't make her start throwing up, she will run out of clothes to wear very quickly and then we will have a naked and snotty 5 year old asking for cuddles to keep warm because its so freaking cold here.
It's -40 C with the windchill which makes leaving the house even less appealing. (You are a very lucky evil genius or you have also mastered controlling the weather as well as germ warfare.) One of us is going to have to go to a store soon but I don't know how we will decide. We can't use any type of physical or mental contest as that would use up any energy we had for going to the store.
Please make it stop, now. I'll pay you, do you take Pay.pal? I could crochet you a nice hat, would that work? I'll bake you some cookies, I make really good cookies. Just make it stop.


....
I apologize if you are annoyed by this post but I am stuck in bed and can't sleep and I only have my phone for entertainment. I also signed up for Instagram before I got sick but can't take cute pictures while laying in bed. cdrichards188 if you want to see C.S. and/ or a whole lotta snow.