No sunset here tonight. Too many grey clouds and yes, that is snow.
Trying to adjust to life without my son...
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Capture Your Grief: Day 31
Sunset
No sunset here tonight. Too many grey clouds and yes, that is snow.
No sunset here tonight. Too many grey clouds and yes, that is snow.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Capture Your Grief: Day 29
Music
I actually avoided music as much as possible in the months after Reid died. Songs either made me horribly sad (all the lyrics could be made to fit my situation) or horribly angry (why did those stupid people keep whining about their insignificant problems?). I ended up crying in the car so many times when I went places with D.G. and D because they insisted on listening to radio stations that played music. D was in the midst of her major Beatles phase during that time (hence the name of this blog) so I couldn't prevent all music from being played in our house. I could handle most of the music on the Number 1's CD, but I always skipped Yesterday. D actually started referring to it as "the sad song" and would rush to skip it herself so mommy didn't start crying again. I still find it impossible to listen to without crying.
I actually avoided music as much as possible in the months after Reid died. Songs either made me horribly sad (all the lyrics could be made to fit my situation) or horribly angry (why did those stupid people keep whining about their insignificant problems?). I ended up crying in the car so many times when I went places with D.G. and D because they insisted on listening to radio stations that played music. D was in the midst of her major Beatles phase during that time (hence the name of this blog) so I couldn't prevent all music from being played in our house. I could handle most of the music on the Number 1's CD, but I always skipped Yesterday. D actually started referring to it as "the sad song" and would rush to skip it herself so mommy didn't start crying again. I still find it impossible to listen to without crying.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Capture Your Grief: Day 28
Memory
So many of my memories from the last 2 and half years are dark and painful. All the darkness definitely has cast a shadow over the 9 months we had with Reid. Maybe someday I'll be able to look back on that time without bitterness over what might have been.
There are no pretty pictures to go with the dark times. When I was sobbing uncontrollably on the kitchen floor, I never thought, "I should get out my camera to document this moment for later." Even though I no longer cry like that on a regular basis, I still remember how it felt to cry that way, to need to cry that way and to try to stop the tears before I broke apart completely and permanently.
(trying to stop from falling behind too far because I'm sick yet again)
So many of my memories from the last 2 and half years are dark and painful. All the darkness definitely has cast a shadow over the 9 months we had with Reid. Maybe someday I'll be able to look back on that time without bitterness over what might have been.
There are no pretty pictures to go with the dark times. When I was sobbing uncontrollably on the kitchen floor, I never thought, "I should get out my camera to document this moment for later." Even though I no longer cry like that on a regular basis, I still remember how it felt to cry that way, to need to cry that way and to try to stop the tears before I broke apart completely and permanently.
(trying to stop from falling behind too far because I'm sick yet again)
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Capture Your Grief: Day 27
Artwork
Art comes in many forms. I have received a painting and figurines and some other pieces in honor of Reid. I just received this wonderful gift (and two matching ones for the girls) this week. I consider it to a beautiful piece of art that just happens to have a practical use.
(G, I love it, it IS perfect! Although my photography is not.)
Art comes in many forms. I have received a painting and figurines and some other pieces in honor of Reid. I just received this wonderful gift (and two matching ones for the girls) this week. I consider it to a beautiful piece of art that just happens to have a practical use.
(G, I love it, it IS perfect! Although my photography is not.)
Friday, October 26, 2012
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